Jason Picus

My Walk With JESUS

My name is Jason and I am 35-years-old. On Wednesday, June 27, 2001, I had surgery to remove the juvenile astrocytoma tumor from my brain stem. The journey has been long and hard with many ups and downs, but it hasbrought me closer to GOD!

Sunday, June 24, 2001, will live forever in my mind and heart. Up until this date, my life was going great! I graduated cum laude from the University of North Texas and was working two jobs.

I had been having headaches for several months but I thought they were caused by the caffeine in all the sodas I was drinking. Even after completely going off all sodas, the headaches continued to get worse. On Saturday, June 23rd, at a church picnic, I remember commenting that "This was the best I've felt in a long time." Little did I know that this was just "the calm before the storm."

The next morning, I awoke with the worst headache of my entire life. The pain was so excruciating that I stumbled out of bed and fell down the stairs. We then rushed to the emergency room at Presbyterian Hospital in Kaufman, Texas. The doctor was preparing to do a spinal tap; "Thank You JESUS" he didn't! GOD intervened and the doctor decided to do a CT scan instead. The scan showed hydrocephalus; my ventricles were enlarged to 3 times their normal size. The pressure release from the spinal tap would have killed me instantly. After the CT scan, the doctor knew that my situation was "way out of their league!"

We were then off to Presbyterian Hospital in Dallas, Texas to meet with the neurosurgeon, Dr. Weiner. An MRI revealed just how critical my situation was. It was an inoperable brain stem tumor. My ONLY chance of survival was surgery; there was absolutely NO time left for chemo or radiation. He told me that I had "at best" one week to live without the surgery. My organs had already begun to shut down.

So, on Wednesday, June 27, 2001, I had major surgery to remove the tumor from my brain stem. To say it was a tedious surgery is a gross understatement. Dr. Weiner completed the seven hour surgery with GOD guiding his hands every step of the way. The tumor was deeply embedded in my brain stem and had begun to coil around my spinal cord. Dr. Weiner couldn't remove all of the tumor because it got to a point where he and his partner couldn't distinguish between brain and tumor tissue. Even though he couldn't remove all of the tumor, he said "he could see the OR floor through my brain stem."

The next day, it was discovered I had a brain bleed, so off to surgery for another five hours to remove several clots. From the biopsy of the tumor, we learned the type of tumor I had; it was a juvenile astrocytoma, which is a very slow growing tumor. Dr. Weiner suspects that the tumor had been growing since I was four. I was in dire condition; but Praise JESUS, I was still alive!

I knew nothing of what was happening for the next two months. My parents became my constant advocates, never leaving my side. I spent two months in ICU totally paralyzed, using a communication system my Mom had devised before the surgery, I could alert the nurse if I was in trouble. Once again, I "Thank GOD" she did.

After two months at Presbyterian Dallas, I was off to Baylor Specialty to progress enough to go to Baylor Rehab. Unfortunately, my permanent shunt became infected and it landed me in Baylor Medical Center for six more weeks in ICU with an infection in my brain. By GOD'S Grace, they were able to control the infection and there was no need to put the shunt back in.

In December of '01, after being in Baylor Rehab, I finally got strong enough to come home. The PT and OT therapists at Baylor Rehab are Outstanding! There have been several bumps in the road. Since '01, I've had several short stints and one long stint in the hospital. I nearly died in December of '03, but, once again, By GOD'S Grace, I made it through that stay as well.

I had so much damage to my brain stem, or lack there of, it is a true MIRACLE that I can function as well as I can. My brain had to basically reroute everything. I still have a trach and a PEG tube as a result of the surgeries. The hardest part of my journey is that I have dysphagia. That means that I'm unable to eat anything by mouth. I haven't eaten by mouth since Tuesday, June 26, 2001. I have to be tube fed for 100% nutrition. My vocal cords are paralyzed in the center. Because of the location of the paralysis, I can't get my trach removed. I have a good strong voice, but a trach is a necessity for breathing. Also, my face is paralyzed, which prohibits me from smiling. I spend the majority of my time in my wheelchair. I am able to lift weights, walk along the rails in my gym and walk on the treadmill.

I hope my story gives just one person the strength to keep fighting when it seems all hope is lost. "In GOD We TRUST" is my favorite quote. It's also the moral to my Life Story!

~Jason Picus

To read more about Jason you can visit http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/
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